Wednesday, June 27, 2018

Virtual Book Tour: The Storyteller's Throne by @j_bates_books #newadult #scifi #interview with the Author



New Adult Sci-Fi
Date Published: May 14, 2018

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A science Fiction novel tangled in the psychology of being human and the vulnerability of an unconventional Love story

Grace was born a storyteller with a beautifully brilliant mind. Trauma twisted her reality into its own tale of darkness. Now, at eighteen, Grace has found herself on the shores of a shadow world created to heal a generation. A world whose purpose is to release our emotions from the bonds of youth.
But she is not alone. It's a world inhabited by others, those working on their own hearts and one other like herself. An amazing and yet afflicted empath and musician by the name of Kai that Grace feels inexplicably drawn to.
Will she be able to handle the suppressed memories of her youth? Accept the vulnerability necessary to explore her own heart and that of another? Fulfill the true purpose it seems she is destined to serve?
Come along with Grace as she learns to uncover her past, harness her gift, open her heart to love and embrace her future.




Interview with the Author

Is There a Message in Your Novel That You Want Readers to Grasp?

When I first started writing The Storyteller’s Throne, I started with the question … why are we so afraid, as people, as a culture, to feel things?  Why do we have this need to replace genuine feelings with something else?  We don’t all do this but if you look at our neighbors, our communities, our schools …  we’ve denied a lot of what some would call negative emotions (anger, anxiety, depression) instead of learning from them, expressing them and encouraging the process of healing through them.  Whether we’re just afraid or uncomfortable with certain feelings or maybe these feelings have been suppressed for so long that we feel like if we gave them voice they may never shut up, this whole idea of denying them, ignoring them and suppressing them has got to have an effect on the next generation … So the real question that I siphoned down to as I began writing is:
What toll would our current trend of denial take on the next generation? 

My message I think is that we’re all people.  We’re all human.  We’re all equal … we all feel things and with our humanness comes the very special gift of our hearts.  The path that our hearts take will lay out the future, and if we don’t open ourselves up to how we feel and how other’s feel and start to become okay with it all, we may be in some trouble.  It’s about empathy and trying to put yourself in someone else’s life for a minute.

But I hate to sound preachy … so maybe the short answer is … the message in The Storyteller’s Throne is to give each other a break and just genuinely ask how someone is doing and then listen for the answer … LOL!


Is there anything you find particularly challenging in your writing?

I really enjoy the process of writing.  I think for me the biggest challenge is finding the extended time to let ideas unfold and then to get them out onto the page before my 3 kids wake up for the day!  Sometimes I feel rushed or I only get out a bit and have to stop midway through a thought since my littlest is only 1 and is getting around really fast these days!


How many books have you written and which is your favorite?
The Storyteller’s Throne is the first novel I’ve written, So I would say it’s my favorite so far!


If You had the chance to cast your main character from Hollywood today, who

would you pick and why?

Grace, the main character is 18 years old.  She has a brilliant mind and has been through trauma that may resonate with a lot of women and so whoever plays the role has to be ridiculously honest with it to give it the weight that this kind of trauma deserves.  They would have to be able to allow emotions to wash over and within easily and yet be a pillar of strength and determination.  On top of that, Grace is a storyteller whose words take on life for her.  So it would be important for the actress playing her to taste the magic in words.  Grace has a shadow self present for some of the story, so whoever played her would also need to play her shadow self too.

I think I would nominate Emma Watson.  She’s so amazing as an actress.  Her emotions live right up in front and she gives a beautiful weight to the words she speaks.  Plus she’s just so darn versatile :) 


When did you begin writing?

I’ve been writing since childhood.  In fact, I just found a pile of old notebooks from when I was high school in the early nineties.  I have this big plastic bin full of spiral notebooks of all different sizes with doodling all over the covers.  I got lost down the rabbit hole of teenage angst just last weekend reading some of the stuff I had written.  I’ve alway used the arts as a way to balance my heart.  I’d hate to see where I’d be if I didn’t have that outlet! 

I’ve only begun writing as a career in the last year though! And I am loving it! I enjoy the time it forces me to take for myself.  I enjoy the quiet and the play.

How long did it take to complete your first book?

It took me about 3 months to complete The Storyteller’s Throne.  Though I think the themes were brewing inside of me for years if not a decade. 
One day, kind of on a whim, I just decided that I needed to do something more for myself so I signed up for a self publishing class and began to write The Storyteller’s Throne.  The class kept me on a very strict schedule, which I personally needed, especially as a mama to 3 homeschooled kids!  I pushed myself to stay on that schedule and meet deadlines while in the class because I work well with deadlines.  If I don’t have them, I could be teetering on the edge of decisions for years!  So I started an awesome habit of getting up really early and working in the only quiet my house holds … when the sun is just beginning to rise :) And I finished a book in 3 months … Though who knows if every book I write will be that way!

Did you have an author who inspired you to become a writer?

Alice Hoffman is absolutely an inspiration for me. I’ve always read her books from the time I was a teenager.  I love the way she weaves magic into the ordinary.  Her voice is just beautiful and so very human

What is your favorite part of the writing process?
I really love the moment that it all clicks.  When I’ve been meandering around a part in the story trying to connect it all and then suddenly as my fingers are moving across the keys, it just clicks, it all makes sense and I can look back and say Yes! That’s it! Then it’s just so much fun to write it all out!

I also really enjoy stream of consciousness writing. I love to just let my brain drip out on the page without any expectation.


Describe your latest book in 4 words.

Love
Magic
Pain
Revolution


Can you share a little bit about your current work or what is in the future for

your writing?

I’ll be starting work on the second book in the The Storyteller Series soon.  I’ve just be re-reading The Storyteller’s throne to get ready to write again! I’m really looking forward to diving into it as I think the second book in The Storyteller’s Series will have a lot of action and really challenge me to keep up weight the pace if it all.


You can follow my writing process on my blog.  I also share tips for daily creativity and artistic inspiration all around at jocelynbates.com

About the Author


Jocelyn Bates is a homeschooling mama to three and an arts therapist. She lives in NJ and writes in the elusive quiet that settles in the earliest of hours.








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PROMO Blitz: Beneath Deception by @allong1963 #erotica #romance #excerpt


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An Unbreakable Series
Romantic Suspense, Erotica
Date Published:  May 2018

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From The Award Winning Author of the Shattered Innocence Trilogy

Everyone has a story and for Xavier London, he preferred to keep his hidden. As ruthless as he was, he still had morals and those morals included betraying the one man who saved his life. He never thought that meeting one woman could change everything.

Tessa Sands never knew the truth about her life, nor did she ever question it. The only life she knew was the one she was taught, disciplined by the man who raised and groomed her to be only his. But, when another man entered her life, she slowly begins to discover that she had been deceived from the start.

Can she find true love or will his secrets get in the way?

Their love for each other will be tested. Only they can determine if love will win.





Excerpt


New town, same life. Even though leaving Manhattan was the hardest thing I had ever done, I knew it was best for me to leave and start over. So here I stand in my plush penthouse apartment, one year later. Taking a sip of my Scotch on the rocks, gazing out my floor-to-ceiling window, wondering what this magnificent town was going to bring me tomorrow. I always liked the nights in LA. It seemed to be the only time that the big city came to life. I loved the rush of a city at night. It was like escaping into a whole different world where every fantasy could be lived.

It was also the time when your worst nightmares could appear, and believe me, I had my share. As I downed my drink, I reflected that the night always brought back one nightmare in particular. I will never forget the look on my brother’s face when he realized I was dead. God, how I hated doing that to him, but it was the only way to break free.

Looking back at that day at Willow Crossing, it was amazing what one tiny pill could do. It could slow the heartbeat just enough to make it seem like you were dead. A little bit of animal blood as a prop could make it that much more real. With a little planning and a little money anything was possible. Luckily for me, I ran into the right man, and he needed a little help himself. The hardest part was finding a body. “Good old college academics and those donor lists,” I thought to myself with a chuckle. Who would have thought that a body being donated to science would be my savior? And with a little help from my needy coroner friend, I would soon be nonexistent. Free to start over.

Grabbing my suit jacket from the barstool, I casually put it on, making sure to catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror above the expensive accent table. There was always something about a man in a suit that women seemed to go crazy for, and with the money I’ve made, I always made sure my closet was brimming with the best designer suits money could buy. Picking up the keys to my Jag from the table, I smoothed back my brown hair and adjusted the collar of my freshly-pressed shirt. Tonight was my night off and I really wanted to have some fun.

As I rode the elevator down to the parking garage, the memory of what I left in Manhattan came aboard. Thinking back, the only downside to my plan was hurting the one person I loved most. I guess for every action there is a reaction, and the reaction was a new life for me. Besides, he’ll survive. With the only woman he ever loved at his side and the men he served with watching his back, he’ll do just fine. As for me, I am alive and well, living in California. I’m no longer Josh Hyatt, born of a convict and raised by a mom and dad who couldn’t be honest to the son who brought them so much joy. That man died a long time ago, and a new man was born.

While I smiled to myself in my new reality, the elevator door opened, and a gorgeous brunette got on. Checking out the curves on this beauty, I needed to get me some of that. Inhaling the scent of her perfume, I casually leaned over and asked in a sultry low voice, “That scent you’re wearing is breathtaking. What is it, if you don’t mind me asking?”

The minute she turned and our eyes met, I knew this was going to be easy. There was a hunger inside those emerald eyes that couldn’t be mistaken. At least there was one thing I didn’t regret. Watch out, LA, Xavier London is in town.


About the Author

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Award winning Author of the Independent Press Award., NYC Big Book Award, and the 2018 National Indie Excellence Award.

My love for writing began several years ago after an early retirement from a demanding job that I loved, but also hated because it consumed so much of my time. Now, I am able to focus my time on what I love. Writing romance has been a life long dream and to actually say that I am a published author is beyond what I would have ever expected.

Even though some may say I have a little naughtiness in my books, I look at it as an added bonus for my readers. After all what is a romance book without a little spice.

When I am not writing, I enjoy spending time with friends either at home or out on the town. Mostly, I enjoy a relaxing night at home where I can enjoy a glass of wine in the company of a good book.



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Tuesday, June 26, 2018

Release Blitz: London Large: American Lockdown by @londonlarge #giveaway #thriller


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Hard Boiled Thriller
Date Published: 26th June 2018
Publisher: London Large Publishing

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A vacation he couldn't refuse. A murder he didn't commit. A hellhole he needs to escape.

Harry Hawkins, a tough and experienced former London cop, goes on a surprise vacation to Las Vegas with a group of lifetime friends, expecting to party hard. What he doesn’t expect is to wake up in a dead-end motel with a woman’s corpse in the bathroom and his memory shot to bits.

As he starts to piece together the events that led him there he is moved, by an unseen hand, to a brutal high-security prison, where a reception committee has been eagerly awaiting his arrival. Friendless and alone, he is forced to use every resource of character to survive constant violence, humiliation...and worse. Can he put together the series of seemingly unrelated events that led to his incarceration in a desert hellhole, and escape to take revenge on those who put him there before he loses his life?


About the Authors

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Garry Robson has written a variety of books and articles, from the acclaimed No OneLikes Us, We Don't Care, a classic study of working class football subculture in London, to the London Large crime thriller series, an altogether grittier romp through the same streets. In between he wrote on subjects as diverse as gentrification, London dialects, the British cultural revolution, and surveillance. He was born in South London but now lives in Krakow.


Roy has worked as a squash coach, a youth worker, a service delivery manager and an IT project manager. He started his writing career with local history books before turning to gritty crime stories that mix suspense and murder mystery with intense action. The London Large books are set on the streets of South London where Roy still lives. They often portray human nature at its most brutal are not for the faint of heart.



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Saturday, June 23, 2018

Release Blitz: The Killed Conscience



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Mystery
Date Published: 6-22-2018

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Still at the beginning of her career, investigative journalist Emilee Weathers is desperate for the perfect story and doesn’t care how she has to get it. When she’s asked to assist in a convicted serial killer’s appeal, it almost seems the perfect story has come banging at her door.

But not long after arriving to the mountain town of Pigeon Forge, Emilee discovers the body of another, more recent victim. With the body showing signatures of the already-convicted murderer, Emilee sets out to discover if she’s happened upon the work of a copycat, or if the real killer was ever even caught. The more she looks though, the murkier everything becomes. Police begin withholding information and the killer seems capable of going any length to protect his identity. On top of it all, when her investigations uncover the buried secrets of those closest to her, Emilee questions who it is she can and can’t trust in those mountains, if anyone at all.


About the Author

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Jordan Antonacci is an HVAC Technician by day and blogger by night, working out of the hot, hot lands of Dallas, Texas. When he isn’t trying to avoid heat stroke, he can be found at his desk with an espresso, brewing up a new story or a post for his blog. Outside of writing, Jordan has a mild case of wanderlust. He enjoys road trips, cruises, and flights out to California to visit his family. His dream is to make a living with writing and visit every country the world has to offer.


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Thursday, June 21, 2018

Release Boost: Dangerous by @ToryRichards #erotica #mcromance #excerpt #giveaway


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Erotic MC Romance
Date Published: 5/21/18

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Jace is a nomad.
An outlaw biker who likes to work alone.
Fierce. Dangerous.
A killer when he needs to be.
He calls no place home, and no woman owns his heart.
Until her.
Luna.





 Excerpt



"You don't belong here." There was no fucking way I was going to watch a repeat performance of her getting off on Puck's leg.

"What?" she half-laughed, half-gasped.

"You heard me," I growled. "You don't know what you're doing, messing around with these men. They aren't known for saying no to something they want."

She huffed out a laugh. "What are you talking about?" Her tone revealed that she really had no idea. "We were only going to dance."

Her innocence only made me angrier. "Yeah, I saw your first fucking dance with Puck. You think a man gives you an orgasm and he's not looking to get inside your pussy?"

She gasped sharply. "I don’t know, Jace. You tell me. I watched you give that woman an orgasm, is her pussy next?"

It wasn't often someone dared to use my own words against me. I had to give Luna credit for not backing down and acting like the proverbial damsel in distress. She was standing her ground, and she wasn’t afraid to say it like it was. It was dark, but thanks to the dim light over the door, I could make out her expression, which was growing angrier by the second. It almost made me smile.

"You forget I got off, too," I said crudely.

Silence followed, and I wondered what she was thinking. It didn't take her long to find her voice.

"Right. Then I'd better go back inside and take care of Puck." She went to grab for the door knob.

"The hell you will," I snarled, reaching for her. I pulled her away from the door, gripping her roughly around her upper arm.

She pulled away with a cry of anger. "What is your problem, Jace? Why should it bother you what I do with another man? It didn't bother me while you and that woman were humping each other's brains out."

I thought about the telling look she’d had on her face when she'd been watching me with CC, the disappointment and the hurt I’d seen. I'd got off a lot of times letting a woman grind against my dick, but that moment tonight hadn't been my proudest, because I'd done it with something else in mind. I'd purposely set out to hurt Luna and teach her a lesson, that attraction for men like me meant one thing and one thing only. I called her bullshit.

"Liar!" I whispered sharply down into her face. For a minute we just stood staring at each other in the darkness, listening to the sound of each other's breaths. I swear I saw the glistening of tears fill her eyes. "We're not good men, Luna. You come on to one of these men, let him expect something more, and he'll take it, whether you want to give it up or not. That's their fucking world. Luckily Puck's a little more understanding than most. But if that had been me you were rubbing up on, I would have taken you out back and fucked you up against the wall." It was true. Fuck, I wanted to do it now and take care of the itch I'd had for her since I’d looked into her warm, honey eyes on that very first day. My dick was hard as a rock right fucking now, proving it.

"So, what, this is a warning, Jace? You're the good guy looking out for the innocent, unsuspecting woman?"

"No, baby, I'm not a good guy. I'm worse than any man in there, and you'd do well to stay the fuck away from me."

She yanked her arm away from me and crossed her arms. "I'm twenty-eight years old, Jace, old enough to make my own decisions, and mistakes, if I want to. That's how most people learn," she threw at me in a single breath. "So what makes you think I can't take care of myself?"

I backed her up against the side of the building...

No cliffhangers!
(Jace was first introduced in His Possession. He also appeared in Ruthless, book 1)
          



About the Author

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Tory Richards is a fun-loving grandma who writes smut with a plot. Born in 1955 in the small town of Milo, Maine, she's lived most of her life in Florida, where she went to school, married, and raised her daughter. For many years life got in the way of her dreams.

Penning stories by hand at ten, and then on manual typewriter at the age of thirteen, Tory was a closet writer until the encouragement of her family prompted her into submitting to a publisher. She's been published since 2005, and has since retired from Disney to focus on family, friends, travel and writing.


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Wednesday, June 20, 2018

Sale Blast and Giveaway: You Only Live Once by @harisorkin #humor #thriller #sale #giveaway


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Humorous Thriller
Date Published: March 21, 2018
Publisher: Imajin Books

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On sale for .99 from June 15-30th


Synopsis: James Flynn is an expert shot, a black belt in karate, and irresistible to women. He’s also a heavily medicated patient in a Los Angeles psychiatric hospital. Flynn believes his locked ward is the headquarters of Her Majesty’s Secret Service and that he is a secret agent with a license to kill.

When the hospital is acquired by a new HMO, Flynn is convinced that the Secret Service has been infiltrated by the enemy. He escapes to save the day, and in the process, Flynn kidnaps a young Hispanic orderly named Sancho.

This crazy day trip turns into a very real adventure when Flynn is mistaken for an actual secret agent. Paranoid delusions have suddenly become reality, and now it’s up to a mental patient and a terrified orderly to bring down an insecure, evil genius bent on world domination.


About the Author

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Haris Orkin is a novelist, playwright, screenwriter, and game writer. His play, Dada was produced at The American Stage and the La Jolla Playhouse. Sex, Impotence, and International Terrorism was chosen as a critic’s choice by the L.A. Weekly and sold as a film script to MGM/UA. His original screenplay, A Saintly Switch, was directed by Peter Bogdanovich and starred David Alan Grier and Vivica Fox. He is a WGA Award and BAFTA Award nominated game writer and narrative designer known for Command and Conquer: Red Alert 3, Call of Juarez: Gunslinger, Tom Clancy’s The Division, Mafia 3, and Dying Light, which to date has sold over 7.5 million copies.



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Sunday, June 17, 2018

PROMO Blitz: Reclaimed by @marcella_swann #romance with a #giveaway


Contemporary Romance
Date Published: May 30, 2018

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Beyond all else, Samira Foster wanted one thing: Elliot Dowling. He was her passion, her need. They were just kids but she knew it was real. The way he kissed her; the way he held her. Yet he’s the one thing that was denied her. The scion of a powerful and wealthy family, she’s now the head of Foster Acquisitions. But she doesn’t have it all. The pressure, the demands, the wolves. And she’s all alone. She needs someone. She needs him. And she’ll have him … even if it destroys her.



 Excerpt


Elliot slowly began to realize that, despite the adrenaline flooding his system, nothing had truly changed since he had walked away years ago. He had to fight not to reminisce of the days they spent together, whether it was at the park, the lake or hiking the trails while the world waited back in the city. She was still the perfect girl, and now woman, that every man dreamed of, and he knew that she had no business slumming it with the likes of him. Samira’s eyes started to glow in the same way they used to when she looked at him. She could see deep into his soul, all of his feelings, and right now he wondered if she knew the truth.

“I almost gave up hope trying to find you,” she said. “It’s been years since you disappeared. I was beginning to think I would never see you again. Then the name Dowling Holdings came across my desk and I heard you’d returned. Why didn’t you reach out to me?”

“I thought about it, but there’s things…”

“I know.” Samira nodded. Her smile faded slightly, but she suppressed the frustration that Elliot knew she must’ve been feeling. “I had my investigators do a complete work up on Dowling Holdings. The only thing they can’t tell me is why you left. Was it because of what your father did?”

Elliot shook his head, he was certain there were things no one could know, and truthfully said, “My father’s actions might have held something over me at one point, but that doesn’t shadow my decisions anymore.”

Samira looked confused, then sad for a split second. “Was it me? Did you not reach out because of something that I did?”

Elliot once again shook his head. “God no, Sam, you’re amazing!”

He watched something click in her head, and even though he had never told her what happened that night, she figured it out.

“It was my dad then,” she said. “He never approved of us; even if he never told me, I knew that he hated the thought of us together. Did he threaten you? Forbid you from seeing me?”

Elliot could not look at her. Samira’s face flushed with anger as she continued, “Two and a half billion dollars in profit last year from a holding company that you built yourself. If you can’t see how impressive that is, I would be shocked! That was your hard work and determination! If my dad was even alive, he would not have a leg to stand on to keep us apart.”

“Sam, I wanted everything to be just right, or at least, cleaned up…”

Samira stood up. “No, Elliot. I don’t believe you. Everything you’ve gone through, everything you’ve built, doesn’t matter. You’ve let him stand between us for all these years. He was my father, and no matter what he said, I was never afraid of him or let him run my life. You could have everything you want now, but instead you just keep trying to prove yourself to a dead man.”

Samira got up, clearly upset, and headed for the door.

Every part of him wanted to run after her, and take her into his arms again, but where would they go from here? He saw now how crazy it was to bring her back into his dark world again.




About the Author

Marcella Swann has been putting words on paper for as long as she can remember. After working for years in the hard-edged world of journalism, she now devotes her time to writing contemporary romance stories of strong-willed women who win the men of their desires.

As passionate about love as the beauty of a story well told, Marcella is a complete romantic and believes everyone desires their happily ever after.

A small-town girl from Louisiana, Marcella now lives in New York City and starts each day walking her Yorkie in the park. She also swings a mean kettle bell at the gym and loves Karaoke nights with her friends.


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Win a Kindle Fire 10 HD. Deadline to enter is June 17.


Saturday, June 16, 2018

PROMO Blitz: Snafu Fubar: Nothing Heroic by @authorbobdixon #humor with a #giveaway


Adult Humor
Date Published: Oct 2016

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*****WARNING*****
If you are easily offended, then this is NOT the book for you. Please put it down and back away slowly. However, if you have a warped sense of humor, please read on.

In the town of Lost Hope, Florida reside two heroes unlike any others. These champions of justice go by the names of Snafu Fubar and General Nuisance. Nightly they patrol their fine city to protect it from evil's grasp. And by 'patrol' we mean they sit on a porch, appropriately nicknamed 'The Fucking Nuisance Cave', drinking beers, smoking cigars, and talking about sex.


Excerpt


   Meanwhile, across the street from the trailer park, in a convenience store that General Nuisance and Snafu Fubar frequented, a robber had just entered, brandishing a pistol.  He pointed it at the clerk behind the counter, a young boy who had not yet reached legal drinking age and who still had a zit party in full swing on his chubby face. “Put your hands in the air and give me the money!” The clerk looked confused for a moment and then shrugged.

    “I can’t do both.”

    “Huh...what?”

   The clerk rolled his eyes. “I can’t put my hands in the air and give you the money.”

    “Fine. Put one hand in the air and hand me the money with the other one.” The robber gestured with the gun.

   “OK, which hand?”

    “Right…no, wait a minute. Left.”

    “Left hand up or left hand get the money?”

     The robber banged his head against the counter three times and glared at the clerk. “Left hand get the money.”

    Ding Ding.

      The robber and clerk both looked toward the store's door, through which a female customer had just entered. She was blond, with a great body and nice rack, but her face was ugly as sin. “Can I get twenty on pump five?”

    The robber stepped towards her, motioning with the gun. “Lie down on the floor now!”

   “What? Really? Have you seen this floor? I’d probably have a higher chance of survival if you just shoot me. I think I’ll take my chances!”

    The robber glanced down at the floor. “OK. Point taken. Just sit on the floor.”

    “Really wish I hadn’t picked today to wear stilettos and this damn mini skirt with no panties,” griped the customer. “I mean, if I’m going to catch an STD, I really wanted to do it the fun way.” She looked about as graceful as a giraffe on roller skates as she tried several maneuvers to get down on the floor without giving the clerk and the robber their own private peep show.



    General Nuisance met Snafu in the parking lot of the convenience store. They did the handshake, the fist bump, the high five, the gang sign, the chest bump and the butt slap — to which they both said in unison, “NO GO HOMO!” This, of course, made it perfectly acceptable for two grown men to slap each other on the ass.

    “Do you see what I see?” General Nuisance pointed into the convenience store that held his beloved beer.

    “Yeah, some idiot sitting on a disease ridden floor.  Hope she knows there are more enjoyable ways to catch an STD.”

    “I agree, but I wasn’t talking about her. Look again…a robber!”

     “Cool! You wanna hand out some Bronze Age justice?”

       General Nuisance poked his friend in the arm. “I got one better...Iron Age justice, huh, huh?”

    “Oh, that’s just stupid! What did the Iron Age have that the Bronze Age didn’t?”

    “Really? Asia was smelting tin and brass by then…you can’t top that. What was your Bronze Age doing? Cave men were still circle jerking on dinosaurs' corpses.”

     “That’s the Stone Age, you idiot.” Snafu shook his head. “You can be so dumb at times.”

      While Snafu Fubar and General Nuisance debated over the kind of justice they were going to hand out, things inside the store took a bizarre turn.

     “Man, my drawer is gonna be off. I’m gonna have to overcharge all my customers tonight,” the clerk whined as he looked down at his till.

     “Shut up! Just get the money,” screamed the robber.

   “I don’t feel so well,” said the female customer, whose face was now a sickly shade of green. She burped once then farted. A moment later, she puked all over the floor and shit herself.

     “Crap! Now I’m going to have to mop the floor and man, I was really hoping to leave that for the morning shift. I mean I could kind of push everything under the candy counter. There’s a good chance no one would notice and I could just place a wet floor sign where she is at. Yeah…the more I think about it, I’m pretty sure that would work.”

      “Oh my God! Why are you taking so long?” The robber pointed the gun at the clerk again.

     The store's door swung open. Loud rock music blared as Snafu and General Nuisance entered the store. “I’m here to kick some ass and hand out –“, Snafu sighed, “Industrial Revolution era justice!”

     “See?!? Was that so hard?” General Nuisance asked with a smile.

      The robber grabbed the clerk by his shirt collar. “This is why you should have moved faster. Both of you get down on the ground now…or the clerk dies.”

       General Nuisance and Snafu both looked down at the female customer who was now shaking and in the midst of some kind of convulsion. “Yeah, that’s just not going to happen,” Snafu said.

    “Son, put the gun down.” General Nuisance spoke as calmly as a man being threatened with sitting on a disease-ridden floor could speak.

    “How about I shoot you?!” screamed the frustrated robber as he pointed the gun first at General Nuisance then at Snafu.

     “Yeah, shoot those costumed freaks!” chimed in the clerk.

      “You stay out of this!” the robber yelled at the clerk.

     “Why are you rooting for the robber?” asked Snafu.

     “I don’t know…just seemed like we were connecting…I don’t get a lot of social interaction here.”

     The robber looked back and forth between the costumed vigilantes and the clerk. “Shit! I don’t know who to shoot first!”

     “Please God, let it be me! Bleck!” said the customer on the floor as she puked again.

     “Well, while you decide that, I’m going to grab a Slushee,” Snafu said as he strolled toward the back of the store.

     “Yeah. Me too. Let’s grab the beer and some beef jerky while we’re at it,” General Nuisance said as he patted the robber on the shoulder and walked past him.

     The robber snatched the money from the clerk's hand and ran out of the store. “Ya’ll are fuckin’ crazy!”

     The clerk, looking as though he'd just lost his best friend or a beloved pet, leaned over the edge of the counter.

     “Call me...I mean if you want to hang out or something,” the clerk yelled as the robber made his escape. When he didn’t get a response, the clerk slumped back against his stool.

     “They never call.”



About the Author


Bob Dixon is a two-time Guinness World Record holder for the World's Longest Cartoon Strip. He is the author and creator of a number of comic book titles for Pocket Change Comics, including Assassinette: The Mind Stalker, Psyco Duck, Jester's Dead, The Holy Knight, Riplash, Shadow Slasher, and Warzone 3719. Bob has written two children books, Rooty the Tree Troll and Holiday Bunny; two young adult books, Mouch and Company: The Dream Psychic and Rags and Ruins; An adult humor book Snafu Fubar : Nothing Heroic; and is the co-author of Will Jones' biography A Tough Call. Bob is also the Writer/Director of the movie Dr. Prozak's Office. Additionally, he is a certified special education teacher who works with children who have autism and intellectual delays.


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