Essays & Collections, Parenting Humor, Women's Non-fiction
Date Published: 09-24-2024
Judy Haveson always believed she would one day “have it all.”
Then she turned forty and wondered if she had waited too long. After
countless failed first dates and fewer second ones, she finally found love,
got married, and became a mother at forty-three.
Oldest Mom on the Playground is a collection of relatable, heartwarming,
and humorous essays. Written in her signature conversational style and with
a touch of sarcasm, Judy takes readers on her journey of getting pregnant
after forty (and delivering the baby during a full moon), raising a child in
New York City (including the time she lost him in a grocery store and found
him standing on Broadway), leaving the career she spent decades building to
volunteer as a preschool class rep, to becoming a card-carrying member of
the sandwich generation.
Judy offers no parenting advice, only personal reflection. And she takes
nothing in her life for granted. Her message to other midlife mamas is this:
trust your gut, let your life experience guide you, and pray no one ever
mistakes you for the grandmother.
INTERVIEW
What was your main drive to write this book?
I wanted to write something about being a mother later in life. While today it's certainly not uncommon for women to start their families in their forties, when I was in my twenties and thirties, it was not the norm. As I began writing about my journey to motherhood, I realized how the different phases of my life were changing at the same time my son was born. I was at the top of my career when I got pregnant and always thought I'd keep going, but then I decided to go all-in on motherhood and work part-time. My parents were aging, and my father got sick, so I was constantly sandwiched between raising my newborn, working on my business, and rushing to be by my mother's side to help her with my father. I knew that my stories, while not always like other women like me, were at least relatable to the overall situation. But I didn't want to write the same format since I'd already written a memoir. That's when my editor suggested making a book of essays that captured different moments of my journey. And voila, that's how the book was born.
What do you hope readers will learn by reading this book?
My main goals of the book are: 1) I want readers to understand that age doesn’t define the happiness and joy found in parenthood. While that might seem like a simple statement, even today, there is so much pressure around women and the choice of motherhood and the perfect age to have kids. Should you have kids? What if you don’t want kids? 2) I want to entertain readers with my successes and failures and help them see how parenting at any age isn’t like a perfect Instagram post. We make mistakes, and that’s okay. How you raise your kids is fine and totally your business. 3) I take nothing in my life for granted and realize I’m blessed to be able to leave my job to raise my child (and not use my entire salary to pay the nanny). But even in my situation, the motherhood guilt still exists. Am I doing enough? Will my child resent me? Etc. I pass no judgment on any mother and how they parent, and I hope others will give me the same courtesy.
Did you do much research when planning this book?
The main research I did for this book was finding key statistics about percentages of women having children over forty, including first-time mothers. I read about the psychological attitudes and feelings about motherhood over forty versus women having children in their twenties and thirties. Other than that, the book is mainly based on my personal experiences, trials, and tribulations.
Did you have any main people who helped you in the process of this book or influenced you to write it?
I collaborated with an editor to help polish my words and ensure I had a story to tell. I also worked with another editor to make sure I used proper grammar, spelling, and punctuation. The main influence for this book is the women like me who by choice or chance are mothers over forty. As I stated in the book, we are no longer unique as many women today are having children later in life.
How long did this book take you to write from initial thought to hitting publish?
The idea of the book has been several years in the making but once I sat down and put pen to paper, it took about 18 months.
Do you have plans to write more about this topic or new topics?
I think I’ve exhausted this topic, but I do have other ideas and one manuscript in the works, so stay tuned!
About the Author
Judy Haveson is the award-winning author of Laugh Cry Rewind—A
Memoir. She is known for her sarcastic humor and enjoys sharing stories
about her life experiences and observations. Her fascination with
storytelling comes from her decades-long career in public relations. Judy
once had a boss tell her that there are two types of people: those who know
and those who want to know. That boss fired her, but his words became a
valuable lesson to always aim to be the one who knows. Judy lives in Hampton
Bays, NY, with her husband, Adam, son, Jack, and adorable Yorkie,
Toby.
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